Caedmon’s Song Read online

  ‘Hope you’ve got some booze,’ Hugo shouted over the music. ‘We just got chucked out of the Ring O’Bells.’

  Russell laughed. ‘For that, you deserve the best. Try the kitchen.’

  Sure enough, half-finished bottles of red wine and a couple of large casks of ale rested on the kitchen table. The fridge was full of Newcastle Brown and Carlsberg Special Brew, except for the space taken up by litre bottles of screw-top Riesling. The four latecomers busied themselves pouring drinks, then wandered off to mingle. It was hot, dim and smoky. Kirsten went to stand by an open window to get some air. She drank cold lager from the can and watched the shadows prance and flail on the dance floor. Smoke curled up and drifted past her out of the window into the night.

  She thought about the three years they had spent together and felt sad now they were all going their separate ways in the big, bad world beyond university – the real world, as everyone called it. What an odd bunch they’d made at the start. That first term, they had circled one another warily and shyly, away from home for the first time, all lost and alone, and none of them willing to admit it: Damon, the witty eighteenth-century scholar; Sarah, feminist criticism and women’s fiction; Hugo, drama and poetry; herself, linguistics, specializing in phonology and dialects; and Galen, modernism with a touch of Marxism thrown in for good measure. Through tutorials, department social evenings and informal parties, they had made their tentative approaches and discovered kindred spirits. By the end of the first year, they had become inseparable.

  Together, they had suffered the vicissitudes, the joys and the disappointments of youth: Kirsten consoled Sarah after her nasty affair with Felix Stapeley, her second-year tutor; Sarah fell out with Damon briefly over a disagreement on the validity of a feminist approach to literature; Galen stood up for Hugo, who failed his Anglo-Saxon exam and almost got sent down; and Hugo pretended to be miffed for a while when Kirsten took up with Galen instead of him.

  After being close for so long, their lives were so intertwined that Kirsten found it hard to imagine a future without the others. But, she realized sadly, that was surely what she had to face. Even though she and Galen had planned to go and do postgraduate work in Toronto, things might not work out that way. One of them might not be accepted – and then what?

  One of the dancers stumbled backwards and bumped into Kirsten. The lager foamed in the can and spilled over her hand. The drunken dancer just shrugged and got back to business. Kirsten laughed and put her can on the window sill. Having got the feel of the party at last, she launched herself into the shadowy crowd and chatted and danced till she was hot and tired. Then, finding that her half-full can had been used as an ashtray in her absence, she got some more lager and returned to her spot by the window. The Rolling Stones were singing ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash’. Russell sure knew how to choose party music.

  ‘How you doing?’ It was Hugo, shouting in her ear.

  ‘I’m all right,’ she yelled back. ‘A bit tired, that’s all. I’ll have to go soon.’

  ‘How about a dance?’

  Kirsten nodded and joined him on the floor. She didn’t know if she was a good dancer or not, but she enjoyed herself. She liked moving her body to the beat of fast music, and the Stones were the best of all. With the Stones she felt a certain earthy, pagan power deep in her body, and when she danced to their music she shed all her inhibitions: her hips swung wildly and her arms drew abstract patterns in the air. Hugo danced less gracefully. His movements were heavier, more deliberate and limited than Kirsten’s. He tended to lumber around a bit. It didn’t matter to her, though; she hardly ever paid attention to the person she was dancing with, so bound up in her own world was she. The problem was, some men took her wild gyrations on the dance floor as an invitation to bed, which they most certainly were not.

  The song ended and ‘Time Is on My Side’ came on, a slower number. Hugo moved closer and put his arms around her. She let him. It was only dancing, after all, and they were close friends. She rested her head on his shoulder and swayed to the music.

  ‘I’ll miss you, you know, Hugo,’ she said as they danced. ‘I do hope we can all still keep in touch.’

  ‘We will,’ Hugo said, turning his head so that she could hear him. ‘None of us know what the hell we’re going to be doing yet. On the dole, most likely. Or maybe we’ll all come out and join you and Galen in Canada.’

  ‘If we get there.’

  He held her more closely and they stopped talking. The music carried them along. She could feel Hugo’s warm breath in her hair, and his hand had slipped down her back to the base of her spine. The floor was getting more crowded. Everywhere they moved, they seemed to bump into another huddled couple. Finally, the song ended and Hugo guided her back towards the window as ‘Street Fighting Man’ came on.

  When they’d both cooled down and had something to drink, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was so quick that she didn’t have time to stop him. Then his arms were around her, running over her shoulders and buttocks, pulling her hips towards him. She struggled and broke away, instinctively wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

  ‘Hugo!’

  ‘Oh, come on, Kirsten. It’s our last chance, while we’re still young. Who knows what might happen tomorrow?’

  Kirsten laughed and punched him on the shoulder. She couldn’t stay angry with him. ‘Don’t pull that “gather ye rosebuds” stuff with me, Hugo Lassiter. I’ll say this for you, you don’t give up trying, do you?’

  Hugo grinned.

  ‘But it’s still no,’ Kirsten said. ‘I like you, you know that, but only as a friend.’

  ‘I’ve got too many friends,’ Hugo complained. ‘What I want is to get laid.’

  Kirsten gestured around the room. ‘Well, I’m sure you’ve got a good chance. If there’s anyone here you haven’t slept with already.’

  ‘That’s not fair. I know I’ve got a reputation, but it’s completely unfounded.’

  ‘Is it? How disappointing. And here was me thinking you were such an expert.’

  ‘You could find out for yourself, you know,’ he said, moving closer again. ‘If you play your cards right.’

  Kirsten laughed and wriggled out of his grasp. ‘No. Anyway, I’m off home now. I’ve got to be up early to pack in the morning, especially if I’m to have time for lunch.’

  ‘I’ll walk you.’

  ‘No you won’t. It’s not far.’

  ‘But it’s late. It’s dangerous to walk out by yourself so late.’

  ‘I’ve done it hundreds of times. You know I have. No thanks. You stay here. I don’t want to end up fighting you off out there. I’d rather take my chances.’

  Hugo sighed. ‘And tomorrow we part, perhaps forever. You don’t know what you’re missing.’

  ‘Nor do you,’ she said, ‘but I’m sure you’ll soon forget all about it. Remember, tomorrow for lunch in the Green Dragon. Remind Sarah and Damon, too.’

  ‘One o’clock?’

  ‘That’s right.’ Kirsten pecked him on the cheek and skipped out into the warm night.

  3

  MARTHA

  The room was perfect. Usually, a single room in a bed and breakfast establishment is nothing more than a cupboard by the toilets, but this one, clearly a converted attic with a dormer window and white-painted rafters, had been done out nicely. Candy-striped wallpaper brightened the walls, and a salmon-pink candlewick bedspread covered the three-quarter bed. Just to the left of the window stood the washstand, with clean white towels laid neatly over a chrome rail. The only other furniture consisted of a small wardrobe with metal hangers that jangled together when Martha opened the flimsy door, and a bedside lamp on a small chest of drawers.

  The owner leaned against the door jamb with his arms folded while she made up her mind. He was a coarse man with hairy forearms and even more hair sticking out over the top of his white open-necked shirt. His face looked like it was made of pink vinyl, and six or seven long fair hairs curled on his chin.


  ‘We don’t get many girls staying by themselves,’ he said, smiling at her with lashless blue eyes. It was obviously an invitation to state her business.

  ‘Yes, well I’m here to do some research,’ Martha lied. ‘I’m working on a book.’

  ‘A book, eh? Romance, is it? I suppose you’ll find plenty of background for that here, what with the abbey ruins and the Dracula legends. Plenty of romance in all that history, I’d say.’

  ‘It’s not a romance,’ Martha said.

  He didn’t pursue the matter further, but looked at her with a fixed expression, a mixture of superior, mocking humour and disbelief that she had often seen men use on professional women.

  ‘I’ll take it,’ she said, mostly to get rid of him as quickly as possible. She didn’t like the way he leaned against the doorway, arms folded, watching her. Was he hoping she’d start taking out her underwear to put in the drawers? The room began to feel claustrophobic.

  He stood up straight. ‘Right. Well, here’s the keys. That big one there’s for the front door. Come in any time you want, but try not to disturb the other guests. There’s a lounge with a colour telly on the ground floor. You can make yourself a cup of tea or instant coffee there, too, if you like. But be sure to wash out your cup afterwards. The wife has enough on. Breakfast’s at eight-thirty sharp. If you want an evening meal, let the wife know in the morning before you go out. Anything else?’

  ‘Not that I can think of.’

  He closed the door behind him as he left. Martha dumped her holdall on the bed and stretched. The sloping ceiling was so low at that point that her fingers touched the plaster between the beams. She poked her head out of the window to see what kind of view you got for nine pounds fifty a night. Not bad. On her right, very close, at the top of the street, loomed St Hilda’s Church with its high, dark tower, like one of the monoliths from 2001; to her left, on the opposite hillside over the estuary, stood St Mary’s, built of lighter stone, with a smaller, squarish tower and a white pole sticking up from it like the mast of a ship. Beside it stood what was left of the abbey, where, according to her guidebook, the Synod of Whitby took place in 664 AD, when the churches in England dumped their Celtic ways and decided to follow Roman usages. The poet Caedmon had lived there at the time, too, and that was more interesting to Martha. After all, Caedmon was the one who had called her here.

  She unpacked her toilet bag and went over to the sink to brush her teeth. The shrimp had left fibres between them and a salty taste in her mouth. As she spat out the water, she glimpsed her face in the mirror. It was the only part of her that hadn’t changed much over the past year or so.

  She wore her sandy hair cut short more for convenience than anything else. As she never had any reason to do herself up to look nice for anyone, it was far easier just to be able to wash it and forget about it. She didn’t have to wear any make-up either, and that made for less fuss. Her complexion had always been clear anyway, and the smattering of freckles across her nose was hardly a blemish. Her eyes were a little Oriental – slanted almonds, and about the same light brown colour. Her nose tilted up slightly at the end – snub, they called it – and revealed the dark ovals of her nostrils. She had always thought it was her ugliest feature, but someone had once told her it was sexy. Sexy! Now there was a laugh! She had her mother’s mouth: tight, thin-lipped, downturned at the edges.

  All in all, she thought she looked haughty, stiff and aloof – prissy, in fact – but she knew well enough that her appearance had diverse effects on men. Not so long ago, she had overheard a conversation in a pub between two lads who had been giving her the eye all evening.

  ‘Now there’s a bird looks like she needs a bloody good fuck,’ the first one had said.

  ‘Rubbish,’ his mate had replied. ‘I’ll bet she’s had enough cock to pave the road from here to Land’s End – ends up!’ And they had laughed at that.

  So much for her looks. Perhaps men just saw in her what they wanted to see. They used her as a mirror to reflect their own vile natures, or as a screen onto which they projected their obscene fantasies.

  She put her toothbrush in the chrome holder on the wall and turned away from the mirror. It was early evening now. The tide would be on its way in.

  She had enough money with her to survive away from home for far longer than she needed to, and though she was almost certain that this was the place where she would find what she was looking for, she knew there was always a chance she could be wrong. It might be one of the smaller fishing villages along the coast: Staithes, Runswick Bay or Robin Hood’s Bay. No matter: she would check them all out if she had to. For now, Whitby felt right enough.

  She was tired after her long journey. Maybe later, around sunset, she would go out and explore the town and find something to eat, but for now a nap was her best bet. First, though, she took what clothes she’d brought with her out of the holdall and put them in the drawers by the bed. There wasn’t much, all of it casual: jeans, cords, denim shirts, a jersey, underwear. The grey quilted jacket in case of chilly evenings, she hung in the wardrobe.

  Finally, she took out the most important thing she’d brought and smiled to herself at how it seemed to have become a ritual object, a talisman, and how simply handling it gave her a sense of awe and reverence.

  It was a small, globe-shaped glass paperweight, flattened at the bottom, smooth and heavy on her palm. Ten pounds she’d paid for it at the craft centre. For ages she had stood there in the heat of the kilns and watched the man making the glassware he sold, explaining the process as he went along. He thrust the long blow-pipe into the white-hot heart of the furnace and brought out a blob of molten glass. Then he dipped this in the dishes of bright colours: vermilion, aquamarine, saffron, indigo. Martha had always thought you were supposed to keep blowing down the tube, but he had simply blown into it quickly and then covered the end with his hand. When the air heated, it expanded and puffed out the glass. She never did find out how he got the colours inside the paperweight, though, or how he made it so heavy and solid. This one was all dark shades of red: carmine, crimson and scarlet. The folds and curves they made looked like a rose. When Martha turned it in the light, the rose seemed to move slowly, as if under water. If ever she felt herself slipping away from her mission, denying her destiny, she knew that all she had to do was reach for it, and the smooth, hard glass would strengthen her resolve.

  She placed it beside her on the bedspread and lay down. The rose seemed to open and pulse in the changing light as she stared into it. Soon she was sleeping soundly beside it.

  4

  KIRSTEN

  Kirsten lingered on the pavement outside Oastler Hall and took a deep breath. She could still hear the music – Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’ – above the muffled talk and laughter behind her. Taking stock of herself, she found that she didn’t feel any more tipsy than she had earlier – less so, if anything. At the party she had drunk only about a can and a half of lager, and the dancing seemed to have driven much of the alcohol out of her system. She must have sweated it out, she supposed, considering the way her blouse was sticking to her.

  The night was warm and muggy. There was no breeze to speak of, just an occasional breath of warm air such as one feels on opening an oven. Everything was still and quiet.

  Kirsten headed for the park. She had crossed it plenty of times before, day and night, and never had any cause to worry about the journey. The worst that ever happened was that the gang of skinheads who hung out there early in the evening might hurl an insult or two at passing students. But the skins would all be tucked up safely in bed at this time of night.

  Most of the houses in the area were old and far too large for one family these days, so they had been bought by landlords and divided into flats and bedsits for the students. It was a comfortable neighbourhood, Kirsten thought. No matter what time of day or night, if you had a problem or just wanted a cup of tea and a chat, there was always likely to be someone you knew burning the midnight oil n
ot much more than five or ten minutes’ walk away. Like a village within the city, really. Even now, soft, inviting lights burned behind many of the windows. She would miss it all very much. This was the place where she had grown up, lost her virginity, changed from a shy, awkward teenager into a wiser, more confident woman.

  The park was a large square bordered on all sides by well-lit roads. Tree-lined avenues criss-crossed the cropped grass. In the daytime, students would lie out in the sun reading or playing makeshift games of cricket or football. Up near the main road were the public toilets – said to be a favourite haunt of local homosexuals – and colourful flower beds. At the centre of the park, thick shrubbery grew around the bowling green and the children’s playground.

  At night the place felt a little spookier, perhaps because there was no lighting in the park itself. But you could always see the tall, amber street lights on the roads, and the sound of nearby traffic was comforting.

  Kirsten’s trainers made no sound on the tarmac as she followed the path under the dark trees. There was very little traffic about. The only thing she could hear was the odd car revving up in the distance and the sound of her shoulder bag brushing against her hips. Somewhere, a dog barked. The sky was clear and the stars, magnified by the haze, looked fatter and softer than usual. How different from winter stars, Kirsten thought, all cold and sharp and merciless. These ones looked like they were melting. She looked up and turned her head in all directions but couldn’t find a moon. It had to be there somewhere – perhaps behind the trees.